Family Culture

Photo by Sarah Mast

As parents who have chosen this homeschooling lifestyle, we lean in to so much that interests our kids, whether that’s hobbies, structured classes, coordinating co-ops, paying for projects, tools, and more. What I want to ask you, reader, is what are the things that interest you, and do you recognize that these things are helping shape and mold your family’s culture?

What is a family culture? A great definition I found is from the online journal themomentsathome.com. It states, “Family culture is the combination of your family’s habits, traditions, purpose, values, beliefs, and choices. It is often impacted by experiences, personalities, and external influences.”

While the kids’ interests are wonderful to pursue, please know that things that excite you, light a fire under you, and are intrinsically motivating to you, are also a valuable part of your homeschool and family culture that will be carried with them. The parts that make you whole (outside of your driver-chef-teacher-nurse hats) are worthy and valuable, too, and will add so much to your kids’ life knowledge and identity as they grow.

Although a faith tradition is an important part of the family’s culture, I’m thinking of ways that you add value to the world, and are a piece of your identity on a smaller scale. What do you do, for fun or for a job or vocation, that your kids have a knowledge base around because of your meaningful work or pursued hobbies?

In my family, my kids have been hiking since they were little, because that’s what I wanted to do! I had just moved from the prairies, to British Columbia, where it seemed like every view of the mountains was a novelty and every new forest trail was a path to help me shape my novice skills into true outdoorsman ability. I would search up a new hike, pack lunches and water, make sure the kids had proper clothing and gear, and drive to the trailhead early on Saturday mornings. We did this for years. As my kids got older, we got them (and myself!) skiing lessons so we could enjoy the winters in the mountains in a different way.

Both of these things - hiking and skiing - have waxed and waned over the past 10 years, and I am still active in both of them - and so are my kids to some degree. Both love to ski; one joyously opening their arms to the freezing air as they rush down the hillside in that first run of the year, and the other whizzing by me once and whom I don’t see for another few hours after that!

Only one will likely retain their hiking abilities, but both (really, all four of us) learned so many gifts from the mountain strains: grit and perseverance, outdoor safety, exercise, learning about the local flora and fauna, and satisfaction at mastering something challenging. These life lessons are just part of the unintended consequences of my personal enjoyment of these two hobbies, and the desire to bring my kids along for the ride (climb!).

Even if my kids never hike or ski again after they graduate and eventually leave our home and enter their adult lives, the memories we had of spending quality time together, of enjoying the beautiful natural world, and doing hard things together, will be something they can take with them - and I will remember for the rest of my life.

These meaningful ways we spend our time, and bring our kids along, is what you’re creating with your own family, and these gifts that you bring are special and worthwhile. You are delightful, interesting, and a full human separate from your identity as a parent and homeschooler, and your curiosity and joy will be beneficial to your kids that perhaps you won’t even see until decades down the road. Your kids will be blessed for what you bring to the table, and I can’t wait to see what you do next!

Reflection questions: 1) What do I love to do, and how do I share it with my kids? If I don’t currently, have I asked them if they’re interested in knowing more, or experiencing it?

2) Do I withhold some of my hobbies so they are just mine? If so, why?

3) Is there something I’ve wanted to try/experience/do and the time hasn’t felt right? How can I make a plan for that thing to happen in the next 3 months?

4) What are the things I am really good at, that naturally flow out of me, that I can see residual influence in my kids? What are some of the habits/experiences/choices that are shaping our family culture?